Naturally you will evolve as an individual.
With new experiences, whether that be a job, a relationship, or an event, you change.
Those changes can be negative or positive, small or large, but the important thing to ask yourself is if you’re happy with who you are.
If you are, perfect. You can still make changes if you want to.
But chances are, there are still areas of yourself or of your life that you want to make better.
Why not deliberately evolve? Why not take steps to evolve into the person you really want to be?
Personally, I believe in constant evolution. I am so proud of who I’ve become but I know I can keep going and I know there are areas I need to improve. And I want to keep going.
Seek discomfort
We all know that growth and evolution don’t take place in our comfort zones.
Your comfort zone is your safe place. It’s where your brain wants you to be. Your brain wants to avoid anything that causes fear, pain, or discomfort.
However, you can deliberately seek discomfort.
If you want more out of life you have to push your boundaries.
No this doesn’t mean you have to jump off cliffs or go skydiving, oftentimes it’s little changes or action steps that can make a big change.
Wake up earlier and follow a morning routine.
Sit down and do 100% focused work for an hour.
Start weightlifting or going jogging.
If there is something that you feel hesitant to do at all, that is probably your sign to push through and do it.
Your comfort zone feels easy. So if life seems too easy lately, challenge that.
Silence your ego
Many people allow their ego to get in their way.
Ego in latin translates to ‘I.’ Your ego is basically your identity.
Your ego defines who you are, who you are not, what you tolerate, your beliefs about yourself, etc.
Sometimes your ego causes you to demean yourself, sometimes it pumps too much pride into you.
It’s all in your head though and you have the power to silence it. You can observe thoughts as they come up. You may even feel emotion about those thoughts, but they can just “be.”
Silencing your ego becomes so powerful when you are faced with anything that triggers an emotional response, especially anger.
If you’re able to detach from that, your life becomes easier.
For example, before flipping someone off when they cut you off in traffic, just let it go.
Not reacting to drama or negativity is very powerful.
Don’t let your ego take control.
Know and understand yourself
When you know yourself inside and out, you will be happier, make better decisions, have more self-control and have less inner-conflict.
Knowing yourself means understanding your values, your passions, your desires, your strengths and weaknesses, your fears, and why you do the things you do.
Self-awareness is key because the longest and strongest relationship you will have is with yourself. It will help you determine what your next steps are, shape your confidence and allow you to love yourself.
If you’re not clear on who you are, you may set the wrong goals, make poor choices and act out of influence.
To understand yourself you first have to be yourself. From there you can observe your reactions and thoughts through reflection, journaling, meditation, and trying new things.
Surround yourself with evolving people
Or no one at all.
To be honest, many people are stagnant in life. Once you start evolving you will recognize this.
Sure your friends may take care of themselves or read some personal development books, but changes on the surface are more common than deep evolution.
That’s OK that other people aren’t like you, let them be who they are. However, it’s important to recognize anyone who may be holding you back.
If anyone lowers your vibe or encourages you to partake in low energy activities, you can choose to decrease or eliminate your interactions with them.
Evolving people can be hard to find, so it’s OK to just be alone for a while.
You can continue to surround yourself and immerse yourself with books, videos, podcasts and high-vibe mentors/influencers in the meantime.
Set big goals and create systems around them
Goals are exciting.
They give us something to work toward and shape our actions.
I do think it’s important to set big goals that scare you a little. Something that sparks some fear and giddiness at the same time.
Even more important than your goals though are the systems you set in place.
The daily habits and routines will build your character and get you closer to where you want to be.
Read my post, Focus on Creating Systems Rather Than Setting Goals, for more on this.
Practice gratitude
Without gratitude you won’t recognize all the amazing things already in your life.
People often go through life taking things, other people and experiences for granted. And not until something goes wrong do they truly appreciate them.
Or you may not even recognize the true value of everyday things.
Getting home safely.
Your partner giving you a hug.
That delicious cup of coffee.
Clean water to drink and bathe in.
The ability to access information at our fingertips.
Our lives are already so amazing, and when you don’t stop to appreciate it, nothing is ever enough.
Learn/develop new skills
There is a plethora of knowledge out there, most of which is free.
I love learning, I love expanding my knowledge. It allows me to grow in all aspects of life.
From finance to cooking there is always new information to soak in.
You don’t just have to learn or develop skills related to your career either. Keep learning about anything that you are passionate about.
I think a lot of people have grown to despise learning because a standard school system teaches boring and/or useless information.
After schooling, people tend to stop learning. They never pick up a book again, they never take a course, nothing.
Sure, some skills will come with age/experience, but if you want to evolve, you can 10x that.
You can:
- Read books
- Take courses (Skillshare, Udemy, Coursera, edX, etc.)
- Watch videos
- Ask a friend/family member to teach you something
Eliminate
Eliminate anything that does not serve you.
This includes:
- people
- thoughts
- belongings
- limiting beliefs
- excuses
- unhealthy habits
- overconsumption (of anything)
- comparison
- perfectionism
- procrastination
- expectations
- dwelling on the past
This may be one of the hardest steps. However, many of the things listed above are currently present in your life and are holding you back from what you could be.
Have positive sources of energy
Life can get stale. You may feel a stretch of low energy that can lead to stress, anger, sadness or other negative emotions.
Sometimes people seek “numbing” activities like watching tv, scrolling through social media, drinking, smoking, etc.
If instead you want to thrive, it’s important to partake in activities that give you high vibe energy and have lasting effects.
Here are some examples:
- perform a random act of kindness
- immerse yourself in a hobby or side hustle
- go for long walks
- meditate
- write down your goals
- declutter your home
- exercise or join a new fitness class
These things are refreshing, motivating and healthy. The more you do things that support your goals and/or your overall well being, the better you will feel.
Heal emotionally
We all go through various levels of trauma and we all react differently. Some people can move on, some find it more difficult.
If anything has happened to you that still weighs on your mind, the best thing you can do for yourself is seek help.
You may be able to do it on your own, you may need professional help.
When we carry around resentment, anger, fear, or sadness, we literally feel weighed down.
Those things get in the way of our present and future lives.
You may need to forgive yourself or someone else, you may need to talk things out, or you may need more time to reflect and process it.
The main thing is that you have to go through it, you can’t just ignore it.
Think big
We’ve been trained to think small. To think reasonably and with limits.
But you can challenge that.
With everything that you cross paths with, ask yourself how you can think bigger. Ask what you can do better.
It literally starts with one thought, and if you really focus on that thought, you could just find a way.
You may already think big:
“I want to be a millionaire.”
“Ooo what if I started a business doing xyz?”
However, negative habits such as procrastination, self-doubt, and over-analyzing things will squash those big thoughts immediately.
This mindset takes time to develop. But if you can believe in yourself and empower your imagination, you never know how big you can go.
BOOK RECOMMENDATION: The Magic of Thinking Big
Reflect and evaluate regularly
If you go through life without pausing every so often, chances are you’ll miss a lot.
Take the time to reflect and ponder on things that happened throughout your day or week. Then you can evaluate.
What did you learn?
What’s working?
What’s not working?
How can I do better?
Am I being true to myself?
Did I get closer to reaching my goals?
Am I resisting anything?
Why do/did I feel or react like that?
This process doesn’t have to be complicated or take a long time.
You’ll be able to consistently refocus and determine where you currently stand. Then you can improve or adjust as necessary.
Personal evolution is amazing.
You’ll look back at who you were five years ago or even one year ago and not even recognize that person.
You can reach a level you never dreamed was possible.
Your full potential is out there.