If you live alone or are afraid of living alone, I totally understand.
At the time of me writing this, I live alone and this is the first time I’ve ever lived alone.
Before, I lived with my sister, before that with my family, and even half of college I lived with roommates.
I moved into my own apartment in February of 2019, and I’m not going to lie, once I was all by myself I felt kind of sad.
To be clear, I am in a relationship. I also have family/friends I can call or hang out with. However, living alone is a big thing but I’m here to tell you it’s really not all that bad.
I actually have grown to like it a lot!
I broke this post down into two categories: The financial side and the loneliness aspect of living alone.
Finances
Your income should be 3x your rent
When apartment or house hunting, it’s general rule of thumb that your income should be 3x your rent or mortgage.
You also have to consider utilities and other needs.
I went into it with a budget of $1200/month on rent. I did end up choosing an apartment that is $1316 in rent, but it felt right and more safe than my other options.
It’s important to choose something you can afford so that you don’t end up financially stressed!
Continue saving
Whether you live alone or not, it’s so important to have an emergency fund. I had a $1,000+ emergency fund when I moved in, but since then I’ve increased that to about $3K.
I also continue to save every month.
The last thing anything wants is to be evicted or to be stressed about paying bills on time.
I continue to save just in case I end up losing my job or a big expense comes up. This gives me peace of mind.
Relying on others is not an option for me, and may not be an option for you either.
Of course go with numbers that you are comfortable with, but you should definitely prepare for any emergencies.
Be financially responsible
Once you’re on your own, it’s your responsibility to manage your money.
This comes with creating a budget, tracking your spending, and overall making smart financial decisions.
Every financial decision you make should be planned or at least thought about thoroughly.
Loneliness
My experience
As I mentioned above, I live alone but am in a relationship. I only see my boyfriend on the weekends, and we talk for maybe 30 minutes on the phone each day.
I’ll explain why that is in a bit.
To be honest, I don’t have much of a social life, because I chose to make it that way.
I suppose you could consider my lifestyle quite lonely, but I don’t really feel that way.
At times I do get sad. Sometimes I really just want to spend time with my boyfriend and have someone with me. Sometimes I get bored and just want to chat with someone.
However, I have really grown to love living alone and embracing my space.
Find the positives
Living alone is actually quite convenient.
You can decorate how you want to.
You can use the bathroom with the door open.
You can walk around in your underwear.
You can clean up later if necessary.
You have your own space.
And so on.
Bonus points if you’re an introvert!
No, but in all seriousness think about the positives of living alone. You only have to worry about yourself and your needs.
Avoid negative habits
It’s easy to pick up bad habits when you’re alone.
You may just be lazier or more lax because you don’t have to worry about anyone else. Or you may be upset that you’re alone and/or single.
If you allow negative emotions to take over, you will likely develop some bad habits.
These include:
- Binge eating
- Binge watching tv/Netflix
- Being messy and unorganized
- Over-sleeping
- Laziness
- Intoxication
These habits will end up making you feel worse. Life will just be a blur and I promise they won’t make you feel any better
Use this time to work on yourself/something for you
Now for the greatest part of it all…you can reciprocate that feeling of loneliness into something bigger than you ever imagined.
Now is the best time to do something for you.
Start implementing habits that will get you closer to your goals.
Use this time to get healthier than you’ve ever been, start exercising, start preparing healthy meals, start stretching.
Use this time to start a business. Start a blog or a YouTube channel, find items to flip, become a virtual assistant, create things to sell.
Use this time to focus on your mental health or spirituality, practice meditation and visualization, start a journaling practice, educate yourself.
There is so much you can do, especially when you don’t have the obligation of a significant other or a roommate.
A problem that often arises in a relationship, is that one person or the other becomes too involved with their significant other.
I think it’s important for an individual to have goals and something larger in their own life to avoid this problem. If you become too obsessed with someone and they leave you or if you’re not around them, you’ll feel even more lonely.
However, if you have your own stuff going on to focus on, it won’t be so bad.
If all you do is work, then come home and lounge around, those feelings are only going to be exaggerated.
Do good for yourself. Make your life better.
And if you are single, the more you improve yourself, the more likely you will attract someone with similar vibrations.
Above, I shared that me and my boyfriend don’t talk much daily and only see each other on the weekends. This is because he knows one of my priorities are my online businesses. He knows I want/need to focus on those things in my life.
He doesn’t get upset about it, because that’s always how it has been. He also fills his “down” time with things that are important to him.
This is major key to avoid feeling lonely.
Living alone can be a great thing, so take advantage of it!